a dream of feelings shared

Oh that ole time religion. An article in the national rag bemoaning the misogynism of our Polish Pope. While explaining it too, in psychological-cultural terms. The war, the mother. I skimmed it, it made me too angry, too depressed. Twenty years ago I was reading the Warsaw diaries of Kazimierz Brandys, a Polish literary elder, written during the fighting, frightening days of Solidarnosc. The Pope then was seen as a beacon for anti-communist humanism, and Brandys marvelled in his solemn slow pace of a gardener. I try to feel a fondness.

What this antisexual popery underlines is the absurdity of Catholicism’s claim to eternal truths or doctrines. Each new infallible adjutant to the Holy Smokery hijacks the tradition, sculpts it to his own design. According to his swag of personal failings. Asinine, the infallibility thing, of course, but it leads to intriguing outcomes, new muddles to quake over.

Another New Scientist read cover to cover, so proud, feel it in my newly expansive chest, and still haven’t begun the real man exercises. Again nothing on global warming, a weeny bit worrying for something so catastrophic, but the future of flat-panel TV’s much brighter than the planet’s so maybe they’re accentuating the positive. My fave piece this week was on microbes, clever little colonies whose intricate intracommunications we’re just starting to shed light on. And there was me complaining about Christian attitudes to the brute beasts. The meaning of life for a bacterium’s as unfathomable and as vital as for us, take that Mister Carroll, you humanist you.

Still the only exercise motivator’s the pedo, which has fluctuated recently. Better today with the temperature just dipping. This house’s long corridor greatly helps – hardly have to step out. I dither about, headless, for 400 steps without noticing, getting nowhere. Belly’s still most palpable though. Didn’t I promise to monitor food intake? Let’s see, today, my muesli with flavoured yoghurt. Bread with the last smear of cream cheese, garden salad and lean bacon. Lunch I can’t recall. A banana. Coffee after coffee (drinking it now), and an energy drink. Dinner courtesy of Sarah, a tuna pasta bake, with parmigiana. A small serve. Feeling pretty damn good. Now what about the social side?

Could take Italian classes. Pilates classes. Beginners’ yoga. Cooking for two. Exercising for two. Folk dancing. Conversations in English. With anyone. Chat rooms? Yes, a conversation with JS needed here. Desperate position, desperate measures.