avoiding the issue
Well, yesterday I cooked dinner for myself, Sarah and Courtney, that’s my social life and it could be a lot worse. Sarah brought over a couple of frozen burger-meat and some chubby fingerlike chipolatas, which I speed-defrosted and fried in peanut oil. I also mashed too many potatoes with sour cream and a smidge of parmigiana, and shredded some cos from the garden and doused it with lemon. Sarah steamed some broccoli next door, and it all came together – I made up a sauce for the meat, chucking hoi sin into some milk, with a tablespoon of tomato sauce and some Worcestershire, thickened with cornflour. Odd but it went down as well as I knew it would. We love being mongrels. Too much of the carbohydrate though, watch that.
The pedo – see how empty my life has become? Where’s the pabulum? Where’s me mates? Where’s the sacrificing work for others? – has registered five figures three days in a row again, after a three-day lapse following six days of excellence. I feel great, going through a period of high motivation, in spite of some nights in thrall to the unhealthy because isolating fantasies spawned by the net.
Nights I now have to work on. These are the times when I’m best not alone. As to the progress I made, with Yahoo Chat – a start. Nothing to report. Filled out a form, saying I wanted to enter chat rooms (Australia and New Zealand, at least that’s my base) about science, politics, arts, film, French-speaking, literature. Opened a general chat room, stood listening in for a while, then returned to fantasy. Hate the silly reductive symbology, smiley faces, lol and such shite. Okay I’ll try again, try for something less general, really make contact. And no, I’ve not yet decided on courses. Nor swum. Nor really exercised, strained. Remember superspecimenhood?
The possibility of hopping next door has receded slightly, which rather relieves me, I think I’d rather be here, with Sarah next door. Think that if the junky crap subsides she might reconsider. Clear out the carport, the debris, some of the La Luna pile, simplify life down a bit, and she might settle again. And I’ll go on with developing this place from scratch. Today I bought a shapely aluminium vase, which I stuffed with near-blown pink roses from out the front. Sarah loves to come here, it’s been so orderly these past few days. Keeping everything Bristol fashion helps to up my steps. Also bought kitchen scales and a new garden hose, to couple with the other so that together they can stretch to the end of my backyard, where the leaves of the wrongly placed shade-lover, the gingko biloba, and of the spiky lemon, are turning yellow-brown, most worrisome before even the start of a long hot summer.
Today’s food, the usual muesli and yoghurt breakfast, with toast and avocado. Late lunch, bacon and lettuce and cream cheese sandwich. Dinner from out of my herb cookbook, bacon and egg salad with a lovage dressing (the lovage has sprouted magnificently, three seasons in a row now, in Sarah’s garden). All the lettuce, cos, radicio, others I know not what, from my garden and there’s more there than I’m likely to consume all through summer, who’d have thought I would be capable of growing my own like this, please forgive me for harping on it but it’s a tiny miracle.
The pedo – see how empty my life has become? Where’s the pabulum? Where’s me mates? Where’s the sacrificing work for others? – has registered five figures three days in a row again, after a three-day lapse following six days of excellence. I feel great, going through a period of high motivation, in spite of some nights in thrall to the unhealthy because isolating fantasies spawned by the net.
Nights I now have to work on. These are the times when I’m best not alone. As to the progress I made, with Yahoo Chat – a start. Nothing to report. Filled out a form, saying I wanted to enter chat rooms (Australia and New Zealand, at least that’s my base) about science, politics, arts, film, French-speaking, literature. Opened a general chat room, stood listening in for a while, then returned to fantasy. Hate the silly reductive symbology, smiley faces, lol and such shite. Okay I’ll try again, try for something less general, really make contact. And no, I’ve not yet decided on courses. Nor swum. Nor really exercised, strained. Remember superspecimenhood?
The possibility of hopping next door has receded slightly, which rather relieves me, I think I’d rather be here, with Sarah next door. Think that if the junky crap subsides she might reconsider. Clear out the carport, the debris, some of the La Luna pile, simplify life down a bit, and she might settle again. And I’ll go on with developing this place from scratch. Today I bought a shapely aluminium vase, which I stuffed with near-blown pink roses from out the front. Sarah loves to come here, it’s been so orderly these past few days. Keeping everything Bristol fashion helps to up my steps. Also bought kitchen scales and a new garden hose, to couple with the other so that together they can stretch to the end of my backyard, where the leaves of the wrongly placed shade-lover, the gingko biloba, and of the spiky lemon, are turning yellow-brown, most worrisome before even the start of a long hot summer.
Today’s food, the usual muesli and yoghurt breakfast, with toast and avocado. Late lunch, bacon and lettuce and cream cheese sandwich. Dinner from out of my herb cookbook, bacon and egg salad with a lovage dressing (the lovage has sprouted magnificently, three seasons in a row now, in Sarah’s garden). All the lettuce, cos, radicio, others I know not what, from my garden and there’s more there than I’m likely to consume all through summer, who’d have thought I would be capable of growing my own like this, please forgive me for harping on it but it’s a tiny miracle.
posted by Stewart at 10:54 pm
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