favourite jobs of all time - today, at least
Here are my top five favourite jobs in no particular order.
1. Book reviewer for New Scientist (or any popular science mag)
Job description: I’d be employed as your average intelligent layperson (so I wouldn’t have to deal with anything too specialised or over-burdened with mathematical physics or statistics), I’d have half a dozen books to peruse per month, and I’d have to actually read them or get sacked.
Performance: I reckon I could do a good job if I was hired from tomorrow.
2. Porn star/male stripper/sex performer
Job description: I’d work freelance with the most beautiful and wanton women in the business, and I’d also work once a week in one of those male stripper troupes, with tipsy wild women of all sorts throwing themselves at us.
Performance: Okay I’d have to shed twenty years and a few kilos, stretch about 15cms, and start on a big fitness and muscular development routine, oh and I’d be squizzing hard at those PE emails… Sure it would only last for say five to ten years, then on to one of the other jobs…
3. Foreign correspondent
Job description: I’d be working for some cosmopolitan, pluralistic paper with a light editorial touch, I’d move continents every two years or so, and my brief would be to mix it with the people, relaying to my people how they respond to the big issues in their part of the world.
Performance: I’d have to brush up a bit on my social skills for making contacts, but my curiosity and my language skills would see me though.
4. Private detective
Job description: Having been bequeathed millions by a rich benefactor on the condition that I use it to run a detective agency, I would specialise in missing persons, unresolved homicides/suicides and the like. I’d have a wise-cracking blonde sidekick playing cat and mouse with me to a dizzyingly distracting degree, but I’d plough on in my usual stoic and understated way.
Performance: Covered already, but I’d have to brush up on my boofhead-biffing techniques. Also all that boy scout stuff on tying and untying knots.
5. Rambler
Job description: Something like blogging only being paid for it. I believe ‘The Rambler’ was the title of Samuel Johnson’s regular column in The Spectator, in which he reflected on anything that took his fancy. Other famous examples are of course Montaigne’s Essais, Rousseau’s Reveries of a solitary walker, and Orwell’s ‘As I please’ column in The Observer.
Performance: Of course if I was being paid I’d pay more attention to the readership and be less self-indulgent, I hope. Brighten and tighten the style, sustain the analysis a bit more.
1. Book reviewer for New Scientist (or any popular science mag)
Job description: I’d be employed as your average intelligent layperson (so I wouldn’t have to deal with anything too specialised or over-burdened with mathematical physics or statistics), I’d have half a dozen books to peruse per month, and I’d have to actually read them or get sacked.
Performance: I reckon I could do a good job if I was hired from tomorrow.
2. Porn star/male stripper/sex performer
Job description: I’d work freelance with the most beautiful and wanton women in the business, and I’d also work once a week in one of those male stripper troupes, with tipsy wild women of all sorts throwing themselves at us.
Performance: Okay I’d have to shed twenty years and a few kilos, stretch about 15cms, and start on a big fitness and muscular development routine, oh and I’d be squizzing hard at those PE emails… Sure it would only last for say five to ten years, then on to one of the other jobs…
3. Foreign correspondent
Job description: I’d be working for some cosmopolitan, pluralistic paper with a light editorial touch, I’d move continents every two years or so, and my brief would be to mix it with the people, relaying to my people how they respond to the big issues in their part of the world.
Performance: I’d have to brush up a bit on my social skills for making contacts, but my curiosity and my language skills would see me though.
4. Private detective
Job description: Having been bequeathed millions by a rich benefactor on the condition that I use it to run a detective agency, I would specialise in missing persons, unresolved homicides/suicides and the like. I’d have a wise-cracking blonde sidekick playing cat and mouse with me to a dizzyingly distracting degree, but I’d plough on in my usual stoic and understated way.
Performance: Covered already, but I’d have to brush up on my boofhead-biffing techniques. Also all that boy scout stuff on tying and untying knots.
5. Rambler
Job description: Something like blogging only being paid for it. I believe ‘The Rambler’ was the title of Samuel Johnson’s regular column in The Spectator, in which he reflected on anything that took his fancy. Other famous examples are of course Montaigne’s Essais, Rousseau’s Reveries of a solitary walker, and Orwell’s ‘As I please’ column in The Observer.
Performance: Of course if I was being paid I’d pay more attention to the readership and be less self-indulgent, I hope. Brighten and tighten the style, sustain the analysis a bit more.
posted by Stewart at 1:58 pm
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